A Difference in Desperation

As all types of people and texts and theories and such give advice on how to make what you want happen in Life, I find it extremely interesting how the desperation of one person “A” assures that person “A” gets what they want or need, while the desperation of person “B”  assures that person “B” does not get what they want or need.

What is the difference between desperation that gains and desperation that loses?

It seems to me the answer is something along these lines:

It is “color”, the tone of the desperation vibration.

Desperation that gains says: ‘I need this thing and in some way or other I am going to get it.’

Desperation that loses says: ‘I need this thing and I think I will never get it.’

The Beast and Alcohol

I was chatting recently with a friend who realizes they have a problem with alcohol, and has decided to stop drinking. In my chat and later I came up with a few points that I want to share about how I personally look at alcoholism.

For me, I see that when I drink, I truly become a different man. It is a different person, and all it takes is a single first sip. After 5 years without alcohol (Thank God) I have come to tell myself the following fundamentals about my drinking persona:

  • He is not you
  • You do not know him
  • You cannot control him

The man I become when I drink is someone completely different from my non-drinking self. So different that I dont even see it as “me when I’m drinking.” No, it is not me anymore. What that person is capable of doing is very different than what I would allow myself to do. I dont know what he will think, say, or do, at any given moment. And no one has control over him, especially not he himself.

He is someone completely different, yet he is in my body, with direct access to my family, friends, and my entire life situation.

But I do not judge him, because he is a beast, and it is his nature. It is like judging a wolf for devouring the young of another animal. It is its nature. I introduce alcohol into the brain and bloodstream, and therefore have become a beast. Literally, and with no exaggeration. Dr. Jekyll, and Mr. Hyde. No exaggeration. Truly it is the same thing. I sip alcohol, and it is an elixir which transforms me into an unpredictable beast, until the elixir has left my body.

Therefore, I must exert discipline to never, ever, become that beast, ever again. I can never ever take the first sip, ever again.

For me, alcohol is more dangerous than any good that can come from it.

I cannot let myself reminisce about “the good times.”

I am a different man when I drink. I do not trust that man.

But I am glad I have saved my life. And I have saved the life of others as well by me not drinking. Therefore I am a hero everyday I dont drink.

Further note to myself:

Don’t judge the drinking man, it is a beast, that is his nature. Just make sure you do not become him. All it takes, is one sip.

The sober man exerts discipline, and knows that he will transform when he takes the first sip. NEVER take the first sip. Ever. Never, ever, again.

“This moment is not life waiting to happen, goals waiting to be achieved, words waiting to be spoken, connections waiting to be made, regrets waiting to evaporate, aliveness waiting to be felt, enlightenment waiting to be gained. No. Nothing is waiting. This is it. this moment is life.”

-Jeff Foster