The Black Hole of Neediness my friends. This is what I am calling my recent discovery. To get right to it: I discovered I have an emotional hole in me that has been there for years. And I have been trying to get other people to fill this hole for me. But this hole is insatiable, it can never be filled by anyone.
Subconsciously, without my awareness, in my past relationships (romantic and non-romantic) I have wanted other people to fill this hole. I was not aware this is what I was trying to do. But people are incapable of filling this hole, nobody can do this, even if they wanted to.
So I must walk around with this hole, realizing that it is permanent, and that nobody can fill it. This lets everyone else in the world off the hook. It also relaxes me, because now I can stop looking for a person to fill this, which allows me to set healthier boundaries, expectations, and honestly provides greater outlook for the future.
Something interesting is that once I realized I have this Black Hole, it dramatically reduced a visceral, physical anxiety response I would experience in my neediness sometimes. Instead of physical, the response has become more mental, which is actually an easier response for me.
This video is a bit long and slow. But if you’re in the mood, I hope you enjoy. Love and Blessings.
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