“Stay focused in the moment. Be where your feet are.”
-Robert Saleh (Head Coach of the New York Jets)
Tag: presence
Nice photo here, of me FINALLY passing my dissertation defense. Ed.D., here we come! Should be official by the end of September.
Included in this photo are my three faculty advisors, whom I appreciate very much. They strove to help me make the best, most professional, acceptable, stellar work possible.
I cannot quantify the hours, days, weeks, months, years of time, I put into this doctorate degree. Technically it was about 3.5 years. But the real time and effort is not quantifiable.
One interesting thing, is that during the process over these years, I could not let myself imagine this day, because it was too painful to imagine while I still had so much work to do. I had to stay Present in the work to keep my motivation. Essentially, not really lifting my head up, but keeping the head to the grindstone until the work was done. Otherwise I was afraid of becoming lazy and unmotivated with the weight of all the work that remained.
“There is no ultimate arrival. Only continual reflection, failure, refinement, and re-commitment.”
-John Wineland, from his book “From the Core: A New Masculine Paradigm for Leading with Love, Living Your Truth & Healing the World”
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Slow the Perception of Time
As I’m getting some older I notice time in general seems to go by more quickly. At the end of the year I would look back and think “Wow this year flew.”
There are some exceptions. Like the last couple of years with so many changes in my life.
I’ve been interested in this because I don’t want time to fly so quickly. Even though I am talking about the perception of time and not the speed of time itself, I still want to feel things going by more slowly. I don’t want to wake up one day and be really old and say to myself “Where did my life go?”
An aside: I do think it is possible that the actual speed of time fluctuates, even within a single day. Not sure how much control of this we have. My theory is it’s attached to some wave-like pattern / mechanism (like gravity waves?).
Back to time: I found a video which emphasizes how to slow down the perception of time:
- being very Present (I had an intuitive hunch about this method, and had written and drew something about this previous post under the section “Stay Present”).
- having new experiences that are attached to your ever-evolving identity.
I’ve been testing this out the deeper Presence and it seems to work. Whenever I am more Present time seems much slower. This is ‘paying’ attention to the Present moment. One way I can tell how Present I am being is when I’m in my elevator in my apartment building, if the ride went fast, I know I was distracted. If the ride feels slow, it tells me I’m being Present.
Here is the video with some thoughts on slowing your perception of time:
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Inviting, Allowing a New Home
Since the chaos of my move has decreased a bit, I’ve been sad in my new apartment for the last few days. It hit me this morning that I wasn’t letting go of my concept of “home” which has always been in my heart my childhood home that I grew up in. Now that home belongs to another family, and my grandma who always provided that home has passed away a year ago.
I think I have to “invite” this new home to be my home in my heart. Or something. Here is a video with some thoughts on this.
Blessings.
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Acceptance of Suffering / Pain
Personally I like to distinguish between pain and suffering. I go by an idea I came across which says that pain is inevitable, but suffering arises from resistance to that pain. I really appreciated the following quote, and it is obvious the author is referring to the inevitable aspects of suffering or pain:
“One of the keys to a creative spirituality of suffering has something to do with its inevitability. If life always bring suffering with it, then it need never be sought but merely accepted. Every human life will have a measure of pain in it at different stages of the life process.
An acceptance of suffering gives us all the suffering we need, so to speak. The question is not whether we shall suffer or how much but what our attitude to it will be and what we shall make of it….
The sacrament of the present moment intends to make us aware of the meaningfulness of life and of the presence of God in each moment. It asks us not to look to the past and wish for something that was gone, or to the future to desire something which might never exist. It suggests, instead, that we live in the present moment, whether that moment be wonderful or frightening, and that we find in that moment something important to experience.
Each moment of life is sacramental because it reveals God to us and brings grace with it. Each moment makes us aware of who we are and enters into our life story. Some of these moments may be suffering moments, but these too teach us about the texture and quality of our lives and the nature and character of the universe we inhabit.
We know then that life brings more than enough suffering with it. We need not ever seek suffering for its own sake or inflict it on others. Suffering becomes a creative and contributing life experience when we allow life itself to determine the occasion and the intensity, the moment and the magnitude of the pain.
Every person suffers sooner or later. The poor suffer physical deprivation, but many experience stronger bonds with those they love and fewer illusions about life. The affluent suffer emotional distance from themselves and others, but receive more esteem and comfort. Those whose lives are socially unsuccessful suffer failure in the public order, but may be closer to their families and less infected with greed. The successful suffer stress, endless expectations for better performance and vicious competition, but they gain a sense of satisfaction with themselves and the acclaim of others.”
Anthony T. Padovano, A Celebration of Life
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The Door is Within
The Door is within.
What the heck does that mean?
I feel like, whatever it is I’m looking for, asking for, wanting…, the access is inside.
It’s not like I need to search and find the door, the “thing”, somewhere out there. Maybe something specific, sure it is physically outside of your body. But as if it does not arrive in your path unless you have opened the door inside you. And that door is arrived as a vibration of your mind, your emotion, your being.
Imagine if you vibrate at certain levels, you actually see different things that exist on those levels. In this case, your own vibration is the door you are looking for to bring that which you want to you.
Now whether or not that thing is a good thing, is a different story, and one I might as well get to here : )
I say, shoot for health. Or meaning.
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The Way of Water
Beautiful quote from Avatar 2. As I was hearing it in the movie, I was thinking the quote could also be used to describe air / breathing. Here is the original quote:
“The way of water has no beginning and no end. The sea is around you and in you. The sea is your home — before your birth, and after your death. Our hearts beat in the womb of the world, our breath burns in the shadow of the deep. The sea gives, and the sea takes. Water connects all things, life to death, darkness to light.”
-Avatar 2
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What is the Answer
What is the Answer?
I don’t even know the question.
I know I’m constantly looking for something.
Whatever it is, it’s not going to be found outside.
Even if I’m looking for human interaction / connection, the answer undoubtedly lies in me, or should I say ‘truths’ in me.
In a way, that’s a good thing.
It’s always there. Even if lost, it’s still with me.
Part of it has to do with needing. Needing / feeding from someone…it’s ultimately the direction or path, is through yourself. But, not the ego / character, more so, that door is found inside.
Maybe the reflections on the outside, which is all reflection, helps point us to that door, that way. And by ‘way,’ I mean honor, focus, source.
I don’t think you, nor I, are exclusively the source, but if you are unsatisfied with the outside, consider looking inside.
“If you never let yourself feel sad, how do you ever feel happy?”
-Punky Brewster (episode 1)
I have found this to be true: You cannot selectively numb emotions. You cant just say “I’m going to avoid feeling pain so I can always feel happy” – they come hand-in-hand. Like a flow, flowing through you.
I think the healthiest is when we can allow that flow, even the flow of pain. It is said that suffering is resistance to pain.
So the point here being: perhaps pain is inevitable, and that flow which allows pain is required to also allow happiness. When you restrict the flow, to avoid pain, you cause suffering. Allowing pain is healthy; a pure pain is a cleansing pain, and even may incorporate pure beauty. A stifled, blocked pain can lead to the blocking of other healthy emotions, including happiness.
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This Being the Moment
“You may wonder if the most wonderful moments of your life are already behind you. Or you may think the happiest moment of your life is still to come. But this is the moment we have been waiting for.”
-Thich Nhat Hanh
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Unable to Perceive the Shape of You
“Unable to perceive the shape of You,
I find You all around me.
Your Presence fills my eyes with your love.
It humbles my heart,
for You are everywhere.”
-from The Shape of Water movie
At a loss for public words.
My heart aches.
Be loved.
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A Bit on Nostalgia
This winter I realized that I was craving for some things from my past, like video games from my childhood. And I found a way to start playing some again, and it’s been great 🙂
I noticed once, in my very cold apartment, that thinking fondly of things from the past, from my warm past, actually made me feel warm physically and as if I was not alone. It was a beautiful moment and revelation.
Here is a brief online article about how nostalgia has been found to literally reduce mild pain: https://neurosciencenews.com/nostalgia-pain-20114/
And here is a New York Times piece on many benefits of nostalgia which I personally found very surprising: https://www.nytimes.com/2022/02/26/briefing/nostalgia-oscars-mardi-gras.html
If you don’t have access to the New York Times article you can look at the Wikipedia entry for nostalgia which mentions a lot of the psychological benefits I found surprising: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nostalgia
Cheers to a warm past reaching out to give us comfort, security and hope in the Present.
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“The secret of the world is this:Â The world is entirely circular and you will go round and round endlessly, never finding what you want, unless you have found what you really want inside yourself.“
-Jeanette Winterson
How do you appreciate something beyond being grateful? En-joy it. Live it. Liiiiiiiiiiive it.
Our health is connected to our neighbor’s health.
I heard this statement somewhere on the radio, some days ago.
It’s a reminder that we are all connected.
“Patience, understanding, and helping each other is the best thing we can do at this time” –Z, the landlord
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Sometimes what is needed and feels better is not necessarily to look on the bright side, but rather to see that the not-so-bright side is actually ok; a natural, normal, human part of life…acceptance.
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Very Imperfect Beings We Are
Very imperfect beings we are.
-Myself accidentally doing a Yoda impression
I recently heard Deepak Chopra and Anoop Kumar both speak their opinion that “God” is the same as the infinite, which is the same as consciousness.
I found this idea interesting – here are some quotes:
“…What we call Life, really doesnt have an opposite. The opposite of birth is death, and the opposite of death is birth. But Life doesnt have an opposite.” – Anoop Kumar
“Consciousness is primary, and what we call ‘matter’ is an experience in our consciousness. Now if consciousness is primary, it’s also infinite….Not only is consciousness infinite, but the infinite has always been the ultimate description of what we call God. The more common notions, the more familiar notions, they are aspects of God. So there is infinite, but then we talk about infinite wisdom, infinite compassion, infinite mercy, infinite understanding, these are aspects of infinite. And this infinite shows up, not only in religion, but it shows up in mathematics, and philosophy, as different aspects, different approaches. Each of these is a unique perspective, and therefore each has unique data, to contribute about something that’s beyond all concepts. The more we evolve, the more we see the infinite underlying nature of all things. Call it religious, call it spiritual, call it secular, or simply the practical experience of knowing ourselves and eachother more deeply.” – Anoop Kumar
“Consciousness, or God, is all-knows, all modes of knowing, and all experiences known. Consciousness is invisible. Why? Because it has no form. But without consciousness there is no experience of that which we call visible. Consciousness is beyond perception. Why again? Because it’s formless, it’s boundless. You cannot imagine consciousness, you cant imagine God because if you imagine God it’s not God. The infinite cannot be imagined. But without consciousness there is no imagination.” – Deepak Chopra
The quotes above are from this debate on NPR.
Jim Carrey has been going through an “existential discovery” for some years
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbLsOF4avIs
“I used to be a guy who was experiencing the world, and now I feel like the world and the universe experiencing a guy.”
-Jim Carrey
“Here’s the thing, if we have goals and dreams, and we want to do our best, and if we love people and we don’t want to hurt them or lose them, we should feel pain when things go wrong. The point isn’t to live without any regrets…We need to learn to love the flawed, imperfect things that we create and to forgive ourselves for creating them.”
–Kathryn Schulz
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Today is the Day
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Thank You for Where I Am
Gratitude starts NOW.
The infinite depth of Gratitude:
Each moment must be submerged in Gratitude:
If this moment cannot, no other moment will suffice.
“It is not length of life, but depth of life.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson