The biggest difference between those who succeed and those who fail at any endeavor is their level of commitment. Most people would like to be committed. But in practice, commitment requires an endless series of small painful actions. When a person has no way to deal with that pain, [their] commitment falls apart.
-Phil Stutz and Barry Michels from “The Tools”
“I don’t think it’s about whether someone’s right for you. It’s whether you both want to make it right. Like there is no perfect person, there is no perfect partner. There’s only the person that wants to make it work with you and the person you want to make it work with. And if someone doesn’t want to make it work with you it doesn’t matter how perfect you think they are, it’s not gonna work.”
-Jay Shetty
Let me quote my mom and myself for a minute.
Yesterday my mom texted me: “I finally have an armoire to put my sheets in. Yay! So silly the things that make you happy when you get to my age. Have a wonderul day. Love you!!!” And I replied to her: “It’s beautiful when the simple things make you happy mom ❤️”
I have been struggling with gratitude recently. As I said to someone a few days ago:
“I feel like the practice of gratitude for me…I have to keep working on it….its like I get called / lured away from this gratitude, by these social cues / lures for things that I desire, not really material things but more ideas of a ‘better life’, like an amazing self-business or making so much $ from selling books, or having the whole family and everything with amazing job….but I look at people with fame, with $ and status, with great work, and I know they have sacrificed, probably things I dont want to sacrifice, things I truly value, like the people in my life, my loved ones. health, people, meaning and comfort. so this means that really, I think I have what I value the most, and I dont want to lose it soon, not before its natural time….I have to be grateful. and its this constant exercise of not only telling myself that this life is ok, but looking at it in its gorgeous illustrious beauty, because it is beautiful. gratitude really gives us beautiful lenses to see everything with.”
So, I think it is beautiful when we can appreciate the small, simple things. In fact I think appreciating the small simple things expands them in a way to be bigger and even more beautiful things. A key to happiness? Hmm….
“Whatever your Comfort Zone consists of, you pay a huge price for it. Life provides endless possibilities, but along with them comes pain. If you can’t tolerate pain, you can’t be fully alive. There are many different examples of this. If you’re shy and avoid people, then you lose the vitality that comes with a sense of community. If you’re creative but can’t tolerate criticism, then you avoid selling your ideas to the marketplace. If you’re a leader but you can’t confront people, no one will follow you. The Comfort Zone is supposed to keep your life safe, but what it really does is keep your life small.”
-Phil Stutz & Barry Michels, from their book The Tools
“Doing something with all your heart gives things meaning”
The above is a re-worded quote from a nice book: The Dog Who Followed the Moon by James Norbury.
I think there is truth in that meaning can arise from what we put into something. Especially if it is with all your heart. What does it mean to do something “with all your heart?”
I guess it means you put your entire self into what you are doing.
The world belongs to optimists.
That’s all you have to say.
Just keep your eyes on those blue skies
And you will find the way…
To climb the mountain of success-
Now here’s the magic key:
That while you earn, you have to learn
To help humanity.
-Dr. Robert Kavesh (recently deceased)
“A Decision Can Change Your Life” – Janine Diaz
“Stay focused in the moment. Be where your feet are.”
-Robert Saleh (Head Coach of the New York Jets)
“Humanization” is a word that describes the act of perceiving other people as human. This may sound like not a big deal, but it is the opposite of dehumanizing, which is lowering the value of a person to something less-than-human.
Below is an excerpt from Man’s Search for Meaning, a book written by Viktor Frankl, a Jewish survivor of the Nazi concentration camps:
“It is apparent that the mere knowledge that a man was either a camp guard or a prisoner tells us almost nothing. Human kindness can be found in all groups, even those which as a whole it would be easy to condemn. The boundaries between groups overlapped and we must not try to simplify matters by saying that these men were angels and those were devils. Certainly, it was a considerable achievement for a guard or foreman to be kind to the prisoners in spite of all the camp’s influences, and, on the other hand, the baseness of a prisoner who treated his own companions badly was exceptionally contemptible. Obviously the prisoners found the lack of character in such men especially upsetting, while they were profoundly moved by the smallest kindness received from any of the guards.“
Then the author provides an example of being humanized:
“I remember how one day a foreman secretly gave me a piece of bread which I knew he must have saved from his breakfast ration. It was far more than the small piece of bread which moved me to tears at that time. It was the human ‘something’ which this man also gave to me–the word and look which accompanied the gift.“
“There is no ultimate arrival. Only continual reflection, failure, refinement, and re-commitment.”
-John Wineland, from his book “From the Core: A New Masculine Paradigm for Leading with Love, Living Your Truth & Healing the World”
“The salvation of [humanity] is through love and in love.”
-Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning
“What the ego doesn’t try is forgiveness, because that would undermine its very existence. To forgive others for insults, real or imagined, is to weaken the boundary between self and other, to dissolve the sense of separation between subject and object. And thus, with forgiveness, awareness tends to let go of the ego and its insults, and revert instead…[to view] both subject and object equally.”
Ken Wilber, Grace and Grit
Personally I like to distinguish between pain and suffering. I go by an idea I came across which says that pain is inevitable, but suffering arises from resistance to that pain. I really appreciated the following quote, and it is obvious the author is referring to the inevitable aspects of suffering or pain:
“One of the keys to a creative spirituality of suffering has something to do with its inevitability. If life always bring suffering with it, then it need never be sought but merely accepted. Every human life will have a measure of pain in it at different stages of the life process.
An acceptance of suffering gives us all the suffering we need, so to speak. The question is not whether we shall suffer or how much but what our attitude to it will be and what we shall make of it….
The sacrament of the present moment intends to make us aware of the meaningfulness of life and of the presence of God in each moment. It asks us not to look to the past and wish for something that was gone, or to the future to desire something which might never exist. It suggests, instead, that we live in the present moment, whether that moment be wonderful or frightening, and that we find in that moment something important to experience.
Each moment of life is sacramental because it reveals God to us and brings grace with it. Each moment makes us aware of who we are and enters into our life story. Some of these moments may be suffering moments, but these too teach us about the texture and quality of our lives and the nature and character of the universe we inhabit.
We know then that life brings more than enough suffering with it. We need not ever seek suffering for its own sake or inflict it on others. Suffering becomes a creative and contributing life experience when we allow life itself to determine the occasion and the intensity, the moment and the magnitude of the pain.
Every person suffers sooner or later. The poor suffer physical deprivation, but many experience stronger bonds with those they love and fewer illusions about life. The affluent suffer emotional distance from themselves and others, but receive more esteem and comfort. Those whose lives are socially unsuccessful suffer failure in the public order, but may be closer to their families and less infected with greed. The successful suffer stress, endless expectations for better performance and vicious competition, but they gain a sense of satisfaction with themselves and the acclaim of others.”
Anthony T. Padovano, A Celebration of Life
An excerpt about energy practice:
“If you can’t smile in the midst of your practice, you are taking it too seriously. If you can’t feel the ultimate futility of energy practice — after all, your body is going to rot and die in any case — then it is easy to become addicted to the process of perfecting your energies.
You can’t perfect your body, your sex, or your energy. They are all going to have their good days and bad days, until finally they dissolve in death. But you can perfect your trust of love. You can stabilize your practice of feeling through the events and sensations of every moment, so that nothing distracts you from who you really are. You simply remain as you are and always have been, conscious as your eternal and spacious nature, open as love, aware as the radiant being that you are.
You can forget the truth of your unbounded being — and forget that you have forgotten — or you can remember and practice recognizing this moment’s essential openness.”
-David Deida, The Enlightened Sex Manual
My mom told me this one =)
“I was addicted to soap once, now I’m clean.”
It put a smile on my face, I had to share it 🙂 My family, myself included, have suffered from addiction. We are a lot better now, thank God, truly, so, it’s nice to be lighthearted about this, even though we addicts always must remain humble and grateful.
“You may wonder if the most wonderful moments of your life are already behind you. Or you may think the happiest moment of your life is still to come. But this is the moment we have been waiting for.”
-Thich Nhat Hanh
“If you want my opinion on the mystery of life and all that, I can give it to you in a nutshell: the universe is like a safe to which there is a key. But the key is locked up in the safe.”
–Peter De Vries
“A Prayer to God,
The Spirit of All the World:
O God, Great Spirit of all the world, whose voice I hear in the winds, and whose breath gives life to all living things, hear me! I am small and weak; I need your strength and wisdom. let me walk in beauty, and make my eyes ever behold the setting sun. Make my hands respect the things you have made, and make my ears sharp to hear your voice. Make me wise so that I may understand the things you have taught your people. Let me learn the lesson you have hidden in every leaf and rock. I seek strength, not to be greater than my brothers and sisters, but to fight my greatest enemy: myself. Make me always ready to come to you with clean hands and straight eyes. And when life fades, as the fading sunset, may my spirit come before you without shame.”
(Unfortunately I do not have more detail about the origin of this prayer)
“Unable to perceive the shape of You,
I find You all around me.
Your Presence fills my eyes with your love.
It humbles my heart,
for You are everywhere.”
-from The Shape of Water movie
“we have two separate pleasure systems in our brains, one that has to do with exciting pleasure and one with satisfying pleasure. The exciting system relates to the ‘appetitive’ pleasure that we get imagining something we desire, such as sex or a good meal. Its neurochemistry is largely dopamine-related, and it raises our tension level. The second pleasure system has to do with the satisfaction, or consummatory
pleasure, that attends actually having sex or having that meal, a calming, fulfilling pleasure. Its neurochemistry is based on the release of endorphins, which are related to opiates and give a peaceful, euphoric bliss.”
-Norman Doidge, from: The Brain that Changes Itself
“Luck is the residue of design”
– Predestination (movie)
“The word ‘meaning’ doesn’t have quite the same bite for me as it once did, not quite the same ability to make me unhappy and dissatisfied and restless and searching still. I believe perhaps I am being more compassionate with myself. More gentle with life, with what it is to be human. Part of the move toward wisdom that I was talking to Ken about. But sometimes when I talk to others about changes I believe are happening within I’m not quite certain if it’s true; am I bragging, am I only hoping this is true, am I affirming something I want to be true but which is not yet so? The ring of truth, the feeling that I am actually not pretending, comes more when I begin to write or talk about things that used to bother me as if they still do, but the complaint, the edge, the bitterness simply isn’t there with its old force. I’m not trying to convince anyone of my progress, I’m simply being my old cantankerous self, complaining, self-pitying, going over the same old territory, and yet the complaints are weak, my heart isn’t in them anymore, I feel a bit bored with what I’m saying. That’s when I feel confident that I am indeed moving on, leaving that particular thing behind after so many months or years I’ve lived with it.”
-Treya, Grace and Grit
Thoughts, reflection on a message from the inner deep. In the midst of self-wallowing about being lonely, single and wanting, a message that came to me again, saying: “What you are looking for is already here.” Not as in I’m going to manifest something. Rather, it is about becoming aware of what is here already.
With Love.
4 There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. 5 There are different kinds of service, but the same [God]. 6 There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work.
7 Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. 8 To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom, to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, 9 to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, 10 to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues. 11 All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and [God] distributes them to each one, just as [God] determines.
-1 Corinthians 12:4-11
“Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them.”
― Meditations
“You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”
― Meditations
I love this quote about having power over our mind, but not outside events. How I see it:
It’s obvious, if we are paying attention to our lives and circumstances, that we dont have direct control over everything, (and maybe not full direct control over anything). Simply put: out what we can control, we have a lot of power in creating change. But, there are plenty of times when we will receive surprises, and depending on who we are, we may interpret them in various ways, as in “good” or “bad”, etc. We have influence over our interpretation, over the meaning that we derive. And depending on our chosen and effective interpretation, we contribute or “attract” certain outcomes.
Something interesting here: I distinguish between interpretation and view. View is our perspective. If we were looking at an enormous boulder in the woods, and I was on one side and you were on the other, our view / perspective is different. The interpretation is the meaning we make with our perspective. So, to change meaning, you can try to change viewpoint.
So, while I’m with Marcus Aurelius on this quote, I think we have power and influence over both, our mind and outside events, but we will also get surprises. But we have power over how we interpret those surprises, which impacts the present as well as future events.
Good luck!
“The secret of the world is this: The world is entirely circular and you will go round and round endlessly, never finding what you want, unless you have found what you really want inside yourself.“
-Jeanette Winterson
The other day I sat in a webinar where I heard LL Cool J say something very close to the following:
Humility is a super power. And I’m not talking about pseudo humility, where you are sitting at the back pew of the church thinking you should be sitting in the front. I’m talking about real humility – having the confidence to be humble; embracing your humanity.
“But then, perhaps every event in life is like that: filling you up and emptying you out, all at the same time.”
-Ken Wilber, Grace and Grit
“To heal is to touch with love that which we previously touched with fear.”
-Stephen Levine, mentioned in the book: No Recipe: Cooking as a Spiritual Practice