“The word ‘meaning’ doesn’t have quite the same bite for me as it once did, not quite the same ability to make me unhappy and dissatisfied and restless and searching still. I believe perhaps I am being more compassionate with myself. More gentle with life, with what it is to be human. Part of the move toward wisdom that I was talking to Ken about. But sometimes when I talk to others about changes I believe are happening within I’m not quite certain if it’s true; am I bragging, am I only hoping this is true, am I affirming something I want to be true but which is not yet so? The ring of truth, the feeling that I am actually not pretending, comes more when I begin to write or talk about things that used to bother me as if they still do, but the complaint, the edge, the bitterness simply isn’t there with its old force. I’m not trying to convince anyone of my progress, I’m simply being my old cantankerous self, complaining, self-pitying, going over the same old territory, and yet the complaints are weak, my heart isn’t in them anymore, I feel a bit bored with what I’m saying. That’s when I feel confident that I am indeed moving on, leaving that particular thing behind after so many months or years I’ve lived with it.”
-Treya, Grace and Grit
