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Interconnectivity Quotes Relationships

Happiness from Relationships and Minor Random Connections

By now you may have heard of many studies finding that the health of our personal human relationships is the biggest indicator of how happy we might be. In other words, the healthier our connections and relationships, the more likely we are overall satisfied with life.

There was a related finding in a recent New York Times article that I found interesting, that small, random acts of connection with strangers can help increase our happiness for the day. Here’s a few quotes:

“…conducted an experiment in which they asked people to interact with strangers on public transit — to try to have a moment of connection — and found that the commuters seemed to get a mood boost from the exercise. Epley and Schroeder’s research and other studies have found that people underestimated both how much they would enjoy the experience and how open the strangers would be to it. ‘We have this innate reluctance to socially connect, particularly with strangers — and then we’re happier when we make ourselves. I find it a really useful thing to know.'”

“What she found more surprising was just how effective even having smaller points of connection throughout the day could be for happiness — and how achievable that is, if people could only overcome their own hesitation. ‘If someone were to ask me what’s the one thing you could do tomorrow to be happier, that’s my answer: having a conversation with someone — or a deeper conversation than you normally do,’ she says. Talking to strangers — on trains, in a coffee shop, at the playground, on line at the D.M.V., in the waiting room at the doctor’s office — could be dismissed as an exercise that simply makes the time pass. But it could also be seen as a moving reflection of how eager we all are, every day, to connect with other humans whose interiority would otherwise be a mystery, individuals in whose faces we might otherwise read threat, judgment, boredom or diffidence. Talking to strangers guarantees novelty, possibly even learning. It holds the promise, each time, of unexpected insight.”

“Lyubomirsky’s own research, over many years, pointed toward the importance of a person’s mind-set: Happy people tended to refrain from comparing themselves with others, had more positive perceptions of others, found ways to be satisfied with a range of choices and did not dwell on the negative.”

“Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.
Strong, long-term relationships with spouses, family and friends built on deep trust — not achievement, not fortune or fame — were what predicted well-being.”

From the following New York Times article:

https://www.nytimes.com/2025/05/01/magazine/happiness-research-studies-relationships.html

 

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Chillin Life Is Yours Quotes

“I feel like I belong everywhere I go, no matter where it is or who I’m with, as long as I never betray myself. And the minute I become who you want me to be, in order to fit in and make sure people like me, is the moment I no longer belong anywhere. And that is hard. I mean that’s a hard practice, that’s an everyday practice.”

-Brene Brown

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Reality Spark the Flame - Long Podcast

Spark the Flame – Long Podcast 28 – Spontaneous Meaning from Authentic Connection

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Spark the Flame - Long Podcast

Spark the Flame Podcast 21

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Chillin

Meaning is Different for Everybody

Meaning is different for everybody.

You have to follow your own meaning.

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Chillin Oetics

Stay Open, Friends

Stay open, friends.

Stay open.

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Live Events Oetics Spark The Flame (el libro)

NYU Bookstore Talk on Writing and Spark The Flame

Finally been able to upload the talk I gave at the NYU Bookstore, July 21, 2016.

The talk mostly covers some thoughts on writing itself, but towards the end I briefly speak about my book Spark The Flame.

Please forgive the low video quality.

Enjoy 🙂

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Chillin

Just Play Your Part

Just play your part

YOU ARE UNIQUE

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Chillin Inserts Life Is Yours

Everyone Has Their Own Path

Everyone has their own Path

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Chillin Quotes

Joy, Happiness, and Vulnerability

Not much to volunteer here, except an excerpt from Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. Vulnerability, it seems, is key to opening. How do I practice this?

how…do…I…open?

“It wasn’t just the relationship between joy and gratitude that took me by surprise. I was also startled by the fact that research participants consistently described both joyfulness and gratitude as spiritual practices that were bound to a belief in human connectedness and a power greater than us. Their stories and descriptions expanded on this, pointing to a clear distinction between happiness and joy. Participants described happiness as an emotion that’s connected to circumstances, and they described joy as a spiritual way of engaging with the world that’s connected to practicing gratitude. While I was initially taken aback by the relationship between joy and vulnerability, it now makes perfect sense to me, and I can see why gratitude would be the antidote to foreboding joy.”

The author uses the term foreboding joy to describe when someone is joyful but then immediately stops themselves from feeling that because of they don’t want to feel the vulnerability of joy. A sort of fear of letting go of fear, so that you’re not caught off guard by something bad happening.

While we’re at it, here’s a few more excerpts from a few pages back:

“In a culture of deep scarcity–of never feeling safe, certain, and sure enough–joy can feel like a setup. We wake up in the morning and think, ‘Work is going well. Everyone in the family is healthy. No major crises are happening. The house is still standing. I’m working out and feeling good. Oh, shit. This is bad. This is really bad. Disaster must be lurking right around the corner.'”

“A man in his early sixties told me, ‘I used to think the best way to go through life was to expect the worse. That way, if it happened, you were prepared, and if it didn’t happen, you were pleasantly surprised. Then I was in a car accident and my wife was killed. Needless to say, expecting the worst didn’t prepare me at all. And worse, I still grieve for all of those wonderful moments we shared and that I didn’t fully enjoy. My commitment to her is to fully enjoy every moment now. I just wish she was here, now that I know how to do that.'”

Maybe a life where everything is going well is not really our situation right now, or maybe it is. Either way, vulnerability seems to be a key to opening up and expressing your truer self, my truer self. Dropping the armor, personas, and letting yourself shine.

I guess I did have a little to share. And the author does offer gratitude as a way to feel the vulnerability of joy.

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Chillin

Sometimes I hesitate to post something from fear of being a hypocrite, or condescending, or arrogantly naive.

For instance: How do I know this something is for sure?

How can I encourage, enlighten and remind people when I so often need encouragement, enlightenment and reminding ?

Please know that I am human too. Please allow for humanity when this website is trying to help…

Thank You

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Quotes In Person

Who cares what people think – All that Matters is what’s in your Heart

Paola Andrea