The space between noetics and poetics
“Be CONFIDENT for God created you to Experience Life with all its ups and downs. And every courageous move on your part will be matched with an equally successful result. Even though it may not seem that way. Love you so very much.”
-Zoraida Diaz
The answers show up at their own time in my life, and I can’t force it.
I can explore, probe, question, ponder, reflect, think – almost as if I’m preparing for the answers when they show up. But I can’t force the answers to show up sooner than they’re ready.
I found this poem tonight. I had written it on 4/4/2013 at 1am. This was a poem I wrote to myself; I was realizing and learning how I needed to feel love, instead of just logically knowing that I was loved. At the time I was referring to romantic love. Now I can probably expand this beyond that:
A Poem for Love for Me
It is not enough for me to know I
am loved, I need to Feel it.
I need to feel I am loved.
A week ago I realized a baby portrait of
mine has had barbed wire attached to
it all these years, literally. I could
not hold the portrait tight. I could
not hold it right.
Then I realized, that baby needs to be
held, not looked at. Not put somewhere
to be looked at. He
needs to be held.
And that is me. And it is a daily occurrence,
daily need. I need to feel it
everyday. Anything else is not enough.
Because When I don’t, I shrivel up and recoil,
and get cold and bitter. I cant live like
that.
I need to grow and open my heart,
open up, and bloom. I’ve come too
far, I must
continue opening and growing
I May forget these details, but my heart
will not. My heart knows
that it needs Love it can feel.
My heart will not let me
stay with anything else.
-Dr. Orlando Fernandez
What is the Answer?
I don’t even know the question.
I know I’m constantly looking for something.
Whatever it is, it’s not going to be found outside.
Even if I’m looking for human interaction / connection, the answer undoubtedly lies in me, or should I say ‘truths’ in me.
In a way, that’s a good thing.
It’s always there. Even if lost, it’s still with me.
Part of it has to do with needing. Needing / feeding from someone…it’s ultimately the direction or path, is through yourself. But, not the ego / character, more so, that door is found inside.
Maybe the reflections on the outside, which is all reflection, helps point us to that door, that way. And by ‘way,’ I mean honor, focus, source.
I don’t think you, nor I, are exclusively the source, but if you are unsatisfied with the outside, consider looking inside.
Allowing / Appreciating versus Pulling / Feeding:
If I find myself energetically feeding on someone, whether feeding through their body or some other way, and I tell myself and get myself to stop, I find that it equates to a change from taking to allowing. And inevitably that allowing transforms into or invites my appreciation.
So that got me thinking: if I did more appreciating of how things turn out and allowing instead of pulling, then I’d be more open to how Life wants to turn out, and I think I would be more aligned with the purpose and meaning of Life, which may be to: be surprised and enjoy it.
Do your best to give / bring good energy to the Family.
It’s not about the details, it’s about your perception of it.
It’s about the journey, the way. How are you experiencing the path?
Being humble and realizing that you Love everything that you Love, and you want to be Grateful for that.
It’s not about necessarily saying “Thank You”,
It’s about Appreciating what you have.
How do I honor the Path? Am I honoring the Path?
One way to honor the path is by doing the best you can do.
Honoring the family, by doing the best you can do with those connections.
Thank you for this Blessedness
And help me be true to my Loved values.
On the quest for happiness and fulfillment, Living in this Life without written instructions
Even if you could have everything you want,
what is the point of that?
Listen to those who come before you,
When you get what you want, you
will always want more.
The difference and lasting satisfaction
comes when you appreciate.
The power of human connection
is so underrated, it will
contribute to meaning and purpose
in your heart.
We are beautiful, and spiritually cleaning ourselves, when we keep looking and loving for healthy answers.
Treat everything as sacred
Gratitude starts NOW.
The infinite depth of Gratitude:
Each moment must be submerged in Gratitude:
If this moment cannot, no other moment will suffice.
Leap of Faith
Sometimes the Faith is exhibited by knowing that you dont have to jump.
I think it will be about once per week for new episodes. Will be talking about Life, and trying to keep things inspirational.
Will aim to keep the episodes around half an hour long.
Here is the first episode, about 5 minutes long. Enjoy!
A proposed working definition for Love:
Love means
“I choose you in my life,
over not having you.”
And if you need to decide between loving two things,
it is not being handled right,
because love is unconditional.
“One of the ancient maps of the world
is heart-shaped, carefully drawn
and once washed with bright colors,
though the colors have faded
as you might expect feelings to fade
from a fragile old heart, the brown map
of a life. But feeling is indelible,
and longing infinite, a starburst compass
pointing in all the directions
two lovers might go, a fresh breeze
swelling their sails, the future uncharted,
still far from the edge
where the sea pours into the stars.”
-Ted Kooser
I was feeling good, then the egg yolk broke.
And I felt a moment of disappointment, but went back to feeling good.
It wouldn’t have mattered if the egg yolk had stayed intact, I would have still felt disappointed at something.
Then, in the same way, it would be up to me to feel better 🙂
I want to Be Happy
Where I am Now.
Nothing else can come and
Give me Happiness.
The Key to Happiness is only found
In this Moment.
It seems every human inevitably has dirt.
Loving myself, while being aware of dirt with me, and giving everyday effort to use the dirt for good as possible, helps me to connect with and love someone else, as I may see dirt with others from time to time.
Stay open, friends.
Stay open.
Theres so much out there to explore.
Then again, theres so much in here to be grateful for.
Finally been able to upload the talk I gave at the NYU Bookstore, July 21, 2016.
The talk mostly covers some thoughts on writing itself, but towards the end I briefly speak about my book Spark The Flame.
Please forgive the low video quality.
Enjoy 🙂
Last year in April I walked the labyrinth at the basement of Marble Collegiate Church.
This is what I wrote during that walk:
Go forward in sacredness
You do not go forward
without the sacredness /
unless you invite the sacredness
How sacred and special
this Life is
Every part is just as
valuable as every other part
Before you know it,
you’re there.
It’s the journey that is sacred
There is no piece that is more valuable than any other
It is all sacred space
This is a sacred walk.
Life, is a sacred walk.
Stand still, until you
feel, acknowledge,
Breath the sacredness
with every breath:
If the breath is not sacred,
stand still until it is,
until you can walk with
sacred breath again.
The path will always have
difficulty, that is the
nature of the path.
If I could kiss every moment,
with full blown lips,
I would tell it “Thank you for being here,”
to let it know that its
presence is appreciated.
You know, I can do this.
Feel appreciation. Don’t look just to think it. Feel it;
without words.
Literally.
Find the bubble of fun and appreciation,
Of where you are right now.
Where you are in life. How your life is.
Your space. It’s like a bubble of comfort, humor, adventure, relief, ease, flow.
I cannot wait for others to accept me. I must accept myself.
How sacred and special this Life is. It is all sacred space.
This is a sacred walk.
Stand still, until you feel, acknowledge, Breathe the sacredness with every breath
The cleaner your motives, the safer you are.
Another way to say it is:
To clear up your dangers, clean up your motives.
Act with good intention towards Life and its inhabitants, and Life will reciprocate towards you.