“I feel like I belong everywhere I go, no matter where it is or who I’m with, as long as I never betray myself. And the minute I become who you want me to be, in order to fit in and make sure people like me, is the moment I no longer belong anywhere. And that is hard. I mean that’s a hard practice, that’s an everyday practice.”
“Here’s the thing, if we have goals and dreams, and we want to do our best, and if we love people and we don’t want to hurt them or lose them, we should feel pain when things go wrong. The point isn’t to live without any regrets…We need to learn to love the flawed, imperfect things that we create and to forgive ourselves for creating them.”
The first guest ever on the Spark the Flame podcast, my mom! Zoraida Diaz, with over 20 years experience in professional counseling. Psychotherapist, LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker), CASAC (Credentialed Alcohol + Substance Abuse Counselor). Absolute overall wonderful incredible person, full of grit for Life and the Spirit, and my personal hero.
“In the journey toward the goal of ideal self-expression, we must use negative feedback data to correct course, as in any other goal-striving situation.
This requires admitting to ourselves–and accepting the fact–that our personality, our expressed self, or what some psychologists call our ‘actual self,’ is always imperfect and short of the mark.
No one ever succeeds during a lifetime in fully expressing or bringing into the actuality all the potentialities of the real self. In our actual, expressed self, we never exhaust all the possibilities and powers of the real self. We can always learn more, perform better, behave better. The actual self is necessarily imperfect. Throughout life it is always moving toward an ideal goal, but never arriving. The actual self is not a static but a dynamic thing. It is never completed and final, but always in a state of growth.
It is important that we learn to accept this actual self, with all its imperfections, because it is the only vehicle we have.”
To build and have an ongoing compassionate relationship with yourself.
You know you are trying hard. And if you’re not trying very hard, and this is bothering you, then start, love. Try harder to do what you need to do, and be what you need to be.
When you are trying, either from the beginning, or further on a certain road, you need to be ok with who you are, and where you are. Your challenges, or positive traits, may help describe how we live our lives, but we are not the culmination of everything we do. We are deeper. This is to say, you are more than what you think and see, and dont beat yourself down for what you observe. Change it, with an understanding of our humanity.