“…sometimes being still is the best way to move forward in life.”
-Lori Deschene
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Tag: self-acceptance
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Belonging vs. Fitting In
“The opposite of belonging, from the research, is ‘fitting in.’ Fitting in is assessing, and acclimating. Here is what I should say, be. Here is what I shouldn’t say, here’s what I should avoid talking about. Here’s what I should dress like, look like. That’s fitting in.
Belonging, is belonging to yourself first. Speaking your truth, telling your story, and never betraying yourself for other people. True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are. It requires you to be who you are. And that’s vulnerable.”
-Brené Brown
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Sometimes what is needed and feels better is not necessarily to look on the bright side, but rather to see that the not-so-bright side is actually ok; a natural, normal, human part of life…acceptance.
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“I feel like I belong everywhere I go, no matter where it is or who I’m with, as long as I never betray myself. And the minute I become who you want me to be, in order to fit in and make sure people like me, is the moment I no longer belong anywhere. And that is hard. I mean that’s a hard practice, that’s an everyday practice.”
-Brene Brown
“Here’s the thing, if we have goals and dreams, and we want to do our best, and if we love people and we don’t want to hurt them or lose them, we should feel pain when things go wrong. The point isn’t to live without any regrets…We need to learn to love the flawed, imperfect things that we create and to forgive ourselves for creating them.”
–Kathryn Schulz
The first guest ever on the Spark the Flame podcast, my mom! Zoraida Diaz, with over 20 years experience in professional counseling. Psychotherapist, LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker), CASAC (Credentialed Alcohol + Substance Abuse Counselor). Absolute overall wonderful incredible person, full of grit for Life and the Spirit, and my personal hero.
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“…if there’s one thing that I’ve come to realize, if there’s one thing that I see as the biggest problem,
it’s not in building a world where we eliminate the ignorance of others.
It’s in building a world where we teach the acceptance of ourselves,
where we’re okay with who we are, because when we get honest, we see that we all struggle and we all suffer.”
Kevin Breel – Confessions of a depressed comic TED talk
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Vulnerability is a Powerful Thing
Vulnerability is a powerful thing. It directly helps to counteract shame. Vulnerability and empathy. Which all leads to compassion.
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Accept Thyself
“In the journey toward the goal of ideal self-expression, we must use negative feedback data to correct course, as in any other goal-striving situation.
This requires admitting to ourselves–and accepting the fact–that our personality, our expressed self, or what some psychologists call our ‘actual self,’ is always imperfect and short of the mark.
No one ever succeeds during a lifetime in fully expressing or bringing into the actuality all the potentialities of the real self. In our actual, expressed self, we never exhaust all the possibilities and powers of the real self. We can always learn more, perform better, behave better. The actual self is necessarily imperfect. Throughout life it is always moving toward an ideal goal, but never arriving. The actual self is not a static but a dynamic thing. It is never completed and final, but always in a state of growth.
It is important that we learn to accept this actual self, with all its imperfections, because it is the only vehicle we have.”
-Maxwell Maltz, Psycho-Cybernetics
This is so important. So important.
To build and have an ongoing compassionate relationship with yourself.
You know you are trying hard. And if you’re not trying very hard, and this is bothering you, then start, love. Try harder to do what you need to do, and be what you need to be.
When you are trying, either from the beginning, or further on a certain road, you need to be ok with who you are, and where you are. Your challenges, or positive traits, may help describe how we live our lives, but we are not the culmination of everything we do. We are deeper. This is to say, you are more than what you think and see, and dont beat yourself down for what you observe. Change it, with an understanding of our humanity.
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It’s About Befriending Who We Already Are
“Meditation practice is not about trying to throw ourselves away and become something better. It’s about befriending who we already are.”
-Pema Chodron
I cannot wait for others to accept me. I must accept myself.
Love is key, and you are the keyhole
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The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.
-Carl Rogers
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You have to be OK with mistakes.
Because you know what?
You’re going to make them.
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“Loving myself exactly where I am is the only way to get where I’m going” – Tracy McMillan
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“Our capacity for wholeheartedness can never be greater than our willingness to be broken hearted” – Brene Brown
The More We Can Forgive Others, The More We Can Forgive Ourselves
the false ego wants power
the natural being arrives at Grace naturally