“…the point is to flex your flexibility, keep catlike presence with a reality that is becoming more unpredictable. not in an anxious way, rather in a “no matter what, something good for me arises from this” way. the more present and accepting of the moment you are, the more you will allow your mind to present you with opportunities to capitalize on every reality you encounter.“
Each new day Is unchartered territory.
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Had a tough time today with alcohol. So very glad I didn’t drink. Was at lunch with two coworker friends , even the bartender was drinking hard liquor at lunchtime. It was cozy in there, I felt like I was missing out by not drinking with them.
Then at the end of the work day most of the office had a game of poker and just about everybody was drinking. I don’t know why, but after a while I had the thought that I really wanted to drink, and that maybe I could be ok with one drink or so. Thankfully I am blessed that I didn’t drink. The strongest urge lasted only a moment or two, but it is scary to think that I considered it for a moment.
I have two and a half years without drinking. And I am still having frightening times of desire. I am scared to want to drink. I am scared to be fooled into thinking that I can have only a little and things will be perfectly fine.
The reality is the next time I choose to drink, I feel that myself or someone else could die. That is how serious alcohol affects me. How innocent and controllable one voluntary swig seems, but that one swig is a switch to open the floodgates of destruction.
With alcohol I don’t ever know how much destruction I will cause, or to whom.
I cant let that happen.
Please help me to stay clean. Please help me to stay clear and clean from alcohol. Please.
Thank you.
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You have to be OK with mistakes.
Because you know what?
You’re going to make them.
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This Is A Special Time
This is a special Time.
Are you afraid of losing it?
The adventure. Not knowing the recipe,
not knowing how.
This is special. But don’t be afraid
to lose it.
Don’t be afraid to move on.
We must all do that. We must all
progress.
There are more things to do.
Bigger. You must do this
first.
You must continue, you will
leave this time behind,
like you left all other times
behind.
And there will be more Times.
And more times.
And more times.
And more Times.
And more times. And more…
“So I would like to end this with a paragraph written by that young man, in a letter to his mother, the night before he was put to death.
…’and I want you all to remember — that you must not dream yourselves back to the times before the war, but the dream for you all, young and old, must be to create an ideal of human decency, and not a narrow-minded and prejudiced one. That is the great gift our country hungers for, something every little peasant boy can look forward to, and with pleasure feel he is a part of — something he can work and fight for.'”
This comes from the children’s book “Number The Stars” by Lois Lowry, and she is quoting the real-life letter of a leader of the Resistance in Denmark during Nazi occupation. His name: Kim Malthe-Bruun, and he was captured and executed by the Nazis at the age of 21.
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When you look at something, don’t read into it, just let it be.
No matter what, Life can change for the better, starting from right Now
Love yourself hug yourself
If I stop and think of How my Life is Freely given to me. I don’t know how to earn it, I don’t know of it being bought or earned. I’m Freely here, and I don’t know when its going to end.
And how valuable this is. How divine, gratefulness naturally arises
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Your daily life is your temple and your religion. Whenever you enter into it take with you your all – Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
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Gratitude and Happiness
When this difficult thing occurs to us…they are opportunities and those who avail themselves of those opportunities are the ones that you admire, they make something out of Life. And those who fail…get another opportunity. You always get another opportunity. That’s the wonderful richness of Life
-David Steindl-Rast
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compassion
“Compassion…can also express itself in the simple act of Presence…just being there, just…showing up. I think that compassion also is often linked to beauty. And by that I mean a willingness to see beauty in the other, not just what it is about them that might need helping.”
–Krista Tippett
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“Loving myself exactly where I am is the only way to get where I’m going” – Tracy McMillan
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“Our capacity for wholeheartedness can never be greater than our willingness to be broken hearted” – Brene Brown
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Choice. Choice Is The Freedom
Choice. Choice is the freedom
“A superior man always assumes complete responsibility, knowing that, ultimately, he has no control at all and everything is out of his hands. He acts with impeccable courage and persistence, expecting nothing but the inherent feeling of completeness he enjoys in the fullest giving of his gift.”
—The Way Of The Superior Man, by David Deida
This is interesting: how are you supposed to assume complete responsibility over everything that occurs in your life, while ultimately not having control over anything?
Life and I work together, as a team, as partners. Not opposing players, not antagonists, but partners. Who knows exactly how this plays out. What exactly the rules are.
But everything we think, and do, is woven into the web of experience. And is a part of the manifested universe. And yet if it so wishes, Life will catch us completely by surprise…
The More We Can Forgive Others, The More We Can Forgive Ourselves
Not much to volunteer here, except an excerpt from Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. Vulnerability, it seems, is key to opening. How do I practice this?
how…do…I…open?
“It wasn’t just the relationship between joy and gratitude that took me by surprise. I was also startled by the fact that research participants consistently described both joyfulness and gratitude as spiritual practices that were bound to a belief in human connectedness and a power greater than us. Their stories and descriptions expanded on this, pointing to a clear distinction between happiness and joy. Participants described happiness as an emotion that’s connected to circumstances, and they described joy as a spiritual way of engaging with the world that’s connected to practicing gratitude. While I was initially taken aback by the relationship between joy and vulnerability, it now makes perfect sense to me, and I can see why gratitude would be the antidote to foreboding joy.”
The author uses the term foreboding joy to describe when someone is joyful but then immediately stops themselves from feeling that because of they don’t want to feel the vulnerability of joy. A sort of fear of letting go of fear, so that you’re not caught off guard by something bad happening.
While we’re at it, here’s a few more excerpts from a few pages back:
“In a culture of deep scarcity–of never feeling safe, certain, and sure enough–joy can feel like a setup. We wake up in the morning and think, ‘Work is going well. Everyone in the family is healthy. No major crises are happening. The house is still standing. I’m working out and feeling good. Oh, shit. This is bad. This is really bad. Disaster must be lurking right around the corner.'”
“A man in his early sixties told me, ‘I used to think the best way to go through life was to expect the worse. That way, if it happened, you were prepared, and if it didn’t happen, you were pleasantly surprised. Then I was in a car accident and my wife was killed. Needless to say, expecting the worst didn’t prepare me at all. And worse, I still grieve for all of those wonderful moments we shared and that I didn’t fully enjoy. My commitment to her is to fully enjoy every moment now. I just wish she was here, now that I know how to do that.'”
Maybe a life where everything is going well is not really our situation right now, or maybe it is. Either way, vulnerability seems to be a key to opening up and expressing your truer self, my truer self. Dropping the armor, personas, and letting yourself shine.
I guess I did have a little to share. And the author does offer gratitude as a way to feel the vulnerability of joy.
Bruce Lee and Self Expression
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Personal Production
My production, where is it going?
My effort represents personal production towards existence with every moment.
If I have high production and it is steered always good energy, your effort of direction, toward the good, gains you reward and padding of good vibration. Even if your current feelings mismatch.
Add gratefulness and humility so you keep the desire for good
And Faith
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Drinking makes me belligerent. Its already challenging to steer my life positively as I try more, why would I increase the possible friction with other people? There are enough issues to work on besides adding uncontrollable unpredictable factors like drunkenness.
Im so grateful I am still scared to drink.
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Life is crazy with so many ups and downs. I sometimes wonder if the “Masters”, if they exist, go through the downs the way other people do.
Why is there always a down? That’s probably not the right question. It seems like a better question is: “How do I manage the downs better?”
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Thank Goodness for Spring
There seems to be a magic in the air for this Spring. Until 2 days ago I was still half expecting another snowstorm. I am slowly letting go of winter, even though this Spring came in so powerfully. Thank goodness for the energy.
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Im so glad Im not drinking. Im so grateful. Im so blessed. Im so lucky.
When Im not drinking, I trust myself. Others can trust me. I may make mistakes sober but they wont be flagrant, belligerent, or overly destructive.
When Im not drinking I have more control of a beautiful Life, and I have trust of myself.
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No matter how far and advanced we get, it seems like we always have some falling to “look forward to.”
…another chance to learn….
Which values do I Value? It’s a Path I Choose
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Breath Into Your Gut
Breath into your Gut
Into your Depth
He didn’t know he could regain the health of the moment, security, by planting feet to the ground, breathing deep into the gut,
KNOWING we can always turnaround the situation.
By acknowledging what occurs – knowing that no matter what you rebound,
sharing this and allowing it for everyone else as potential, it becomes a dance
An endless dance that is ok if/when you stumble
Allowing yourself may bring up emotion to balance yourself. You must allow the emotion through your body. Then energy is unblocked.
Allow the feeling but keep your mind and soul with GOOD
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Help me make the best contribution, the HAPPIEST contribution I can make
Give me the DESIRE to BE the best person I can be
Help me be grateful for so many blessings I Live every moment Every Day
Help me be as GRATEFUL as I can be